


Not Quite Mary Poppins

by honeybearbee



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 15:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybearbee/pseuds/honeybearbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, desperately needs a sitter who will stick around. Cue Bilbo Baggins in the wings</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite Mary Poppins

**Author's Note:**

> From this prompt on the HKM: Let's say Smaug took over Erebor for a short period before being killed/dying and somehow Hobbits are a little more spread out further than the Shire. 
> 
> Thorin is left as the guardian of Fili and Kili. However he's a little in over his head. Running a kingdom he can do, fighting orcs and goblins he can do, having to sit through endless political meetings with dwarves more interested in power than helping their people he can do. Almost everything life throws at Thorin he can take without much problem.
> 
> When it comes to Fili falling ill and Kili falling out of a tree and running home with a bleeding head he's out of depths. Simply and completely. 
> 
> So he goes about looking for someone, anyone, in the kingdom who can watch over his nephews and make sure they're taken care of while he's running his kingdom. Unfortunately this is easier said than done when his nephews prove to be more selective than expected and they go through no less than a dozen dwarves within two weeks' times.
> 
> It all comes to a head when their latest sitter loses the princes and no one in the kingdom can find them. 
> 
> While scouring the nearby Hobbit settlement he hears familiar voices and goes storming into one Bilbo Baggins' hobbit hole only to find his nephews in neither dire need or danger. Instead they seem to be sitting down to a nice lunch and upon closer inspection they seem to have actually washed their hands.
> 
> After the initial yelling and threatening settles down and apologies and lunch is had Thorin convinces Bilbo to watch over his nephews and Bilbo, more than a little smitten with the brothers, agrees.
> 
> After some time, the brothers, seeing their uncle less stressed and Bilbo becoming another father, they come to an agreement. Bilbo and Thorin should get married so they can become a happy family,
> 
> Cue little dwarf matchmaking shenanigans.

King Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thráin, son of Thrór rubbed the bridge of his nose as yet another nanny stormed out of his office. His nephews Fili, aged eight, and Kili, aged five, peaked around the corner of the door.

“Come here my little terrors,” he said fondly.

They bounded over to him and climbed into his lap.

“Now, why was Florí so angry? I couldn’t understand a word she said.”

Kili looked a little guilty, while Fili beamed. “We put frog’s eggs in her tea.”

“Fili,” Thorin said sternly. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“But Unca Dwa’in said you and him did the same thing to your nanny,” Kili spoke up.

Thorin’s mouth twitched, but he stayed firm. “Yes, and my father was very upset with me and so was Uncle Fundin. You two shall write an apology letter.”

“Yes, Uncle Thorin,” they muttered.

“But does this mean we get a new nanny?” Fili asked as he played with one of Thorin’s braids.

“Yes. I’ll ask Balin to send more candidates. Now, why don’t you two go play.”

His nephews kissed his cheeks, one on either side, and then slid off his lap to play warriors.

Thorin sighed as he watched them go. They’d had a hard life. First their father died in a battle with some Orcs, then their mother died helping some adventurous Hobbits move from the Shire closer to Erebor during a Fell Winter. The Hobbits had brought her body to him and said that they would help in anyway they could. Thorin thanked them, but left Balin to deal with them. His nephews did not take the news well, and the Durin family was in seclusion for many days.

A letter from one Belladonna Baggins brought Thorin out of such fierce mourning. In the letter Mrs. Baggins said that Dís died saving her son, who had just entered his majority. Dís’s last words were for her boys and Thorin. Thorin kept the letter to show Fili and Kili when they were older.

Now, however, Thorin needed a nanny. Fili and Kili were very picky when it came to who should watch over them and an nanny almost always lasted three weeks before packing it in. Florí, a cousin of Dwalin’s husband Ori, had lasted a surprisingly long time, four months.  
Thorin thought about going outside the Dwarven community, even to ask Elves, but if Dwarves couldn’t handle two Dwarven children then he doubted any other race could.

Thorin sighed again and stood. It was time to find Balin and another sitter.


End file.
